spilled glitter (2/2)

by Gisella Gianina

14-purple-shiny-glitter-hi-resolution-texture

(this one has more indonesian content. just a heads up)

part one

4. This PC > Documents > my writing


 

Hubungan kami ambigu, bahasa yang kami berdua tahu, namun tidak cukup fasih untuk mengucapkan.

– bagian dari cerpen yang kutulis dan tak pernah dilanjutkan, judul dokumennya exp2, terakhir dimodifikasi 29/12/2015, 16:13

 

 

 

Sejak saat itu, warna biru tak pernah sama lagi di mataku. Aku melihatnya di mana-mana, di langit dan di pakaian gadis kecil yang lewat. Aku mendengarnya di lagu-lagu dan di gesekan udara, merasakannya di sekujur tubuhku. Aku menghirup dan menghembuskannya. Aku tenggelam dalam ronanya.

Seolah-olah aku hidup dalam dunia di mana tak ada satupun warna lain.

Dan aku tak keberatan hidup yang seperti itu.

– konten dari dokumen bertajuk biru, terakhir dimodifikasi 08/05/2016, 12.03.

 

 

 

You’re handsome, every inch of my skin shivers when I land eyes on you.

Beauties I appreciate, but none held my gaze captive the way you do.

Frankly, you are not the usual kind of pretty, how should I put this?

You’re out of this world, an indescribable magnificence.

A walking magic, milky way personified.

– written on ms word and i won’t tell the title because it’s a dead giveaway, about a long haired boy, last modified 09/06/2016, 22:32.

 

 

 

(after that I swear, the world stopped for a split second: there was no sound, no movement, no air, and the distance between us felt like a whole universe folded to fit the intervals that bridged our feet)

– about a long haired boy, the word document was titled settledown, last modified 12/07/2016, 19.30.

 

 

 

 Oh baby,

The bursts of rosy colors on your cheeks

Are inviting my fingers to take a dip

And paint themselves red.

– the opening poem for an unfinished story i wrote on ms word, titled colors, last modified 01/08/2016, 18:36.

 

 

 

Dengan lingkaran hitam yang menggenangi pipi, dan senyum yang lebih lelah ketimbang tulus, mungkin Bapak tidak akan mengenaliku lagi.

Anak yang diingatnya, tidak seperti ini.

– ditulis di kamar kos saat sedang lelah-lelahnya kuliah dengan judul tentang saya, terakhir dimodifikasi 10/10/2016, 07:42.

 

 

 

blood thrummed in ears and goosebumps rose by a simple graze of skin on skin. out of the blue there were stars shining in eyes, both yours and mine, meeting in the middle, sparking red undertones of heat and want.

(…)

red was passionate, red was an exhilarating high i wish i could get down from, red was when rolling your name off my tongue became something else entirely. what had been just a word became a galaxy filled with memories of crimson longing under evening skies and midnights impaled with desire and fire on fingertips and burning through veins. red became the color of the string binding our pinkies.

it was during that moment we loved the hardest.

– found in a word document titled chroma, the last paragraphs of an unfinished story, last modified 09/12/2016, 21:42.

 

 

 

Sometimes home isn’t a place, or another person.

Sometimes home is the muddled mess of memories swirling inside of you.

 

(Or something else entirely.)

– the closing poem for a story i posted on wordpress then deleted because i think it’s stupid, ms word said it was last modified on 12/12/2016, 15:44.

 

 

 

we’ve been dancing around each other for too long

to the tune of doubt and stuttering heartbeats.

now we’re nowhere, but this is me asking:

give me one last dance

let’s make a love song off of the creaking floorboards

let’s get drunk on each other’s gaze

let every other sound fade into white noise

let everything but us cease to exist,

just for the time of our last dance

– a poem titled last dance, inspired by big bang’s song of the same name, last modified 22/02/2017, 21:47.

 

 

 

5. little notes from my old iPhone’s notes


 

saat kau angkat bicara, kita sedang duduk berdampingan dengan mulut-mulut diam, seolah dalam penantian. kau hanya termangu. matamu terarah pada mentari yang perlahan hilang ditelan horizon, sarat emosi. mungkin karena kau tahu, sebentar lagi kita pun dilumat gelapnya malam. kalau mataku, terlalu sibuk pura-pura tidak terdistraksi olehmu.

– paragraf pertama dari prosa yang tidak pernah diselesaikan, terakhir dimodifikasi 16/06/2016, 10:45 AM

 

 

karena aku melihatmu bagai senja dengan segala semburat warnanya: lembayung yang diselipi merah muda dan ungu. emas yang bergulat dengan biru.

 

tapi di matamu, aku hanya kelabu.

– masih bagian dari prosa yang tidak pernah diselesaikan

 

 

they won’t stop with their ministrations, the sun (fro)licking at my feet and the sea splashing me kisses on the cheek.

– written at the beach I visited during summer break, last modified 05/07/2016, 1:54 PM

 

 

the last time I ever felt something akin to love, it was for a boy with hair more beautiful than mine, long and black like ink flowing down his neck, who listened to songs that i had never heard of.

 – about a long haired boy (god I wrote a ton about him), last modified 10/07/2016, 10:41 PM

 

 

his eyes are the color of my afternoon tea.

– written after a senior with really pretty eyes, last modified 22/08/2016, 11:50 PM

 

 

Saya adalah jutaan galaksi dan hamparan bunga pikuk.

Saya bukan cantik.

Saya mengenakan malam berbintang dan berombak perak.

Dan saya tidak akan pernah cantik.

 – bagian dari sebuah refleksi berjudul Saya Tidak Akan Pernah Cantik yang tidak pernah selesai, terakhir disimpan 29/03/2017, 6:28 PM

 

 

kenangan pun padam, sebagaimana lilin dan asa.

 – ditulis 04/06/2017, 9:35 PM

 

 

lelah digerogoti sepi, kupejamkan mata

dan luruh di dekapanmu

 

(sedang kau sibuk

bubuhkan centang

di sebelah namaku.)

– tentang seorang lelaki yang menjadi penyesalan, terakhir disimpan 07/06/2017, 7:37 PM

 

 

6. bonus


 

waterfalls were made when your palm, that held

oceans

met mine in a nervous grip, fingers

interlocked.

 – found in between the last pages of a borrowed book, written on a tiny paper with the date 15/12/16 at the bottom.

 

 

(fin.)

part one

picture(s) used is from here.

 

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